Plan

I might be able to move into a group home in Fort Lauderdale.  I can still go to college and do violin I hope.

No College This Summer

no financial aid

Summer College

I enrolled in 2 religion courses, New Testament and Old Testament.  I only have 1 more religion class after this and Biology.

For the BA in Music, I'm trying to do an hour of violin per week over the summer and an ensemble, like maybe church choir is open.

My other requirements are

- 2 semesters of Music Theory - 8 credit hours

- 1 Music History - 3 credit hours

- 2 Conducting courses, 3 hours each - 6 credit hours

- Senior Recital - 0 credit hours

- Recital Lab each semester - 0 credit hours

Schedule:

Summer 2020 - up to 11 credit hours

- Religion - 3 credit hours

- Religion - 3 credit hours

- Ensemble - 1 credit hour

- Violin - 2, 3, or 4 credit hours

Fall 2020 - 12 credit hours

- Music Theory - 4 credit hours
- Music History - 3 credit hours

- Conducting - 3 credit hours

- Violin -  1 credit hour

- Ensemble - 1 credit hours

- Recital Lab - 0 credit hours

Spring 2021 - 9 credit hours

- Music Theory - 4 credit hours

- Conducting - 3 credit hours

- Violin - 1 credit hour

- Ensemble - 1 credit hour

- Recital Lab - 0 credit hours

Summer 20201 - ? credit hours

- Violin - 2, 3, or 4 credit hours

- Ensemble - 1 credit hour

Fall 2021- 6+ credit hours

- Religion - 3 credit hours

- Biology - 3 credit hours

- Violin - ? credit hours

- Ensemble/s - ? credit hours

- Senior Recital - 0 credit hours

I could move the religion and science from the summer to during the year.  I can increase my violin hours and double up on ensembles, too.  This way, I'd graduate Spring 2021.

Overshadowing Me All the Time

Everyone's "experience" overshadows me, and I get blamed though I say nothing wrong and I have the right of speech otherwise too.  Like, new generations come along, and this happens then often, like I "did something."  It's true, deep down I resent people for treating me like a baby and being too close to me, making me uncomfortable.  It seems if anything good happens to me, it gets taken away automatically but not anyone else.

Just Join the Orchestra

Orchestras are snooty and demonic when it comes to accompanying.  It's just something fun to do, like playing a game, but whoever they are accompanying is trash to them.

Money

I dunno, this is kinda expensive for me.  I might hope to do something else.

Film Acting

I guess I will take film acting and forget about the modeling.  It may start at the beginning of July for $480 total, $440 by the 1st month.  I get about $400/month and have 2 months to save from.

I have to wait to see other places, too.  I've been to this first place before so would go on to advanced acting, though I didn't actually finish the 1st acting session..

Real, Good, Quality, Relatively, Maybe "Spot On," Complex Art

I miss visual arts.

People tend to not want to see the truth or say/express anything.

Categorizing My Social Life

Strangely, some people don't talk to me much.  Then, they act like I'm the one who wants to talk less in our relationship.  In the end, I get shoved aside as antisocial but somehow bound to their convictions across life.  Like, they can take from me socially and can't be denied.

A Little Sad

The world of classical music sounds more exciting than Hollywood.

Decision

I contacted some acting/modeling etc. schools.

Psychological Evaluation

Why are people scared and reluctant for me to analyze others they way they analyzed me?

Suggestion ... Idea?

Do you think I should become a model/actress for a living?  I think so!  I don't know how to support myself in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.  Eventually, I want to be a German violinist in an orchestra.

Good and Bad - Hollywood

Hollywood and entertainment like books are a battle between being rigid versus honest in society and the problems that arise through accidents and being overly stringent.  That seems like the only thing.  Even villains seem to simply be a spoilsport who get mad at deathpoint.  People worship books like the Bible; I guess they shouldn't because this pattern sounds like shit.

"Too Late?"

It seems people think when Generation X was 15 it was too late to have fun, but not so for Generation YZA.

"Last One Standing"

Late Boomers seem to find joy in ridiculing Generation X in any way they can, even if it's wrong and they still are accepted for this.

Reasonable Expecation

Is it reasonable to feel a desire to be treated like a Late Boomer or the generation of their children?

"Continuing on With our Lives"

I wonder why we shouldn't be jealous of Johnny Depp and then people say because of Tim Burton being powerful and famous that we should not continue with our lives with what we are respected for and improve unless it's with Tim Burton.

Europeans always trump Americans.

(I posted this on film|boards.)

Are Europeans just being treated right?

I know posters here who have relocated families outside of Europe originating from Europe. They are from popular European countries. Their families relocated at different times.

Americans I find tend to dislike my mom's side not being American, but she's not white-

So, are Europeans just being treated right? or are they used as a tool to spoil against me? etc. I would think Americans would also be more defensive of their culture rather than saying everything's good; it's probably a secret.

Flexibility and Servitude

I wonder how people work around the schedule of celebrities and "up and coming" child actors, working on multiple things or even hosting a talk show Monday - Friday.  Everything else in life is seemingly so inconvenient and spiteful.  It mustn't either be all it's cracked up to be.